Is Denver really a baseball town? I dunno. But here you go...
http://www.nydailynews.com/s****ts/baseball/2007/10/21/2007-10-21_15_tips_for_rockies_fans.html?ref=rss
15 tips for Rockies fans
1. If the Rockies win Game 1, they are not Super Bowl champions.
2. Nobody pours Gatorade on anybody's head. Watery beer from your
famous, avaricious brewery is also taboo. Champagne is the preferred
beverage of baseball celebrations (champagne is a bubbly alcoholic
drink made from grapes).
3. There is really no point in wearing orange, since the Broncos are
not involved.
4. Don't bother looking for cheerleaders. The closest you're going to
get is "Dinger," your triceratops mascot. Dinger is like Mr. Met,
except without the sense of self-parody.
5. If the Rockies move a runner along the bases, that is a good thing.
But they only have three outs to score a run, not four downs.
6. One of you needs to interfere with a ball in play, just when the
whole series is at stake. It's even better if the guy is a kid.
7. In case you lose the Series, 15 seasons without a title does not
qualify as "long-suffering."
8. Thin air is no excuse for thinking that easy fly balls are going to
be home runs. Stop getting so excited. Get some depth perception.
Lasik surgery can help.
9. Seth Smith is a rookie outfielder on your team, not the backup
quarterback to Eli Manning. So, feel free to cheer him.
10. After a grand slam, there is no extra-point conversion.
11. Even after you win 21 of 22 games, you are not rated No. 1 in the
BCS poll and the Rockies don't get to play Ohio State in the
Superdome.
12. If you win the title, all your good players will soon become
Yankees, who will then lose in the first round of the playoffs to yet
another Cinderella team before stealing all their players. We call
this "revenue sharing."
13. If a baseball goes into the stands, you are allowed to keep it and
bring it home to your own private humidor.
14. If Clint Hurdle loses the World Series, you must second-guess his
choice of starting rotation and demand his immediate firing.
15. Profanities are a requisite form of heckling. No excuses.
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